Before we start with the list, it is important to note here that this does not include things that can harm people. These are ways in which you can get friends and influence people using their psychology without being vulgar, impolite and evil.
- Use the fatigue
When someone is tired, that person is subject to everything the other will say, whether it is a statement or confirmation. The reason for this is that when people are tired, tiredness not only affects their physical body, but also their level of mental energy. When you ask for a favor a person that is tired, you probably will not get a defined answer, but you will get the answer: “I’ll do it tomorrow,” because they do not want to face any decisions at the moment. The next day they will do what was asked of them, because they want to fulfill the promise.
- Don’t correct your mistakes
Patrick Carnes in his famous book emphasizes that if you tell someone that is mistaking when it’s not necessary then the person feels resentment towards you. Rather than argue, listen to what they have to say and try to understand how they feel and why they feel like that. Then explain to them the attitude that you have a like and finally explain your position. Thus, they will hear what you have to say and let you correct them without feeling resentment towards you.
The scientists found that when people nod with their head while hearing someone, they are more likely to agree with them. They also found that if someone is nodding, it is natural that the other person will do it the same. So, if you want to be extra convincing nod with your head repeatedly during the conversation.
- Gain favors
Legend says that Benjamin Franklin once wanted, in some way, to gain trust from a man that disliked Benjamin. So, Benjamin asked the man to borrow from him a book that can be hard to find. When Benjamin received the book, thanked him. So he gained the men who didn’t want to speak with him and they both became good friends. Scientists decided to test this theory and found that the one doing the favor make the favor because you are worth, so here comes the conclusion that they like you.
This may be very obvious at first, but there are many advantages. For starters, it is important to know that if flattery falling out honestly, can do more harm than good. The researchers studied the motivations posture reactions of people with flattery, and found really important things. Put it simply, they found that people see the cognitive balance, trying to keep their thoughts and feelings organized similarly. Thus, if you flattering someone with high self-esteem and that person believe that the flattery is sincere, they will start to like you, but if you flatter people with low self-esteem, then they will consider themselves ridicules.
- Ask for more than you need or want
Start with the completely ridiculous request – something that will certainly refuse. Then come and ask for something easier – the one that really wanted to ask). The trick may sound counter-effective, but the idea is that the person you asked starts to feel wrong because he refused again, so when you ask for the second time, he will feel compelled to help. Scientists have tested this principle and found that works well as long as the person first asks more and then less favors.
- Repeat things
One of the most positive ways to influence people is to show that you understand how they feel and have empathy for them. One of the most effective ways is repetition in paraphrase of what they said. This method is called reflexive listening. Studies have shown that this method is used by therapists and with her they have better relationship with their patients. This is easily transferred to talking with your friends. If you listen to what they say and rephrase it as a question to confirm that you understand, they will be more comfortable when talking to you.